patterns galore

image

 

exploring a voice
a mindset
a perspective
is like slipping on clothes
to see if and how they fit
here too long, there too tight
altogether a bit off
or just right

until they’re known enough
warm enough
to the touch
of thought, sight, feeling
and you’re fairly certain
you have the pattern,
the colours and meshes down pat,
the seams of memories, quirks
and habits good and bad,
how they all fit together –

Or not.
Sometimes it’s all a pair of old clothes:
too small to fit, too familiar to throw,
or bundled up together in one glorious knot
hard to untangle with patterns galore
so subtle and baroque
they’re infinitely hard to spot.

© 2014 threegoodwords

the royal line

dark moon

England, 1465

‘Run,’ she said. ‘Run, Lucrese, run!’ And Lucrese picked up her skirts and ran, ran into the dark that rose high into the night, the forest with its welcoming trees, ran and ran and ran, hearing the screams behind her, the shadows flickering high before her, the torches so ominous with their blue flames. The Royal Line had found them, the Auditors had come. Lucrese ran behind a wide tree trunk, stopped and turned around. Yes, they had come. Their blue torches flaming high, dragging Mother, Father, William, Thea, even young Merla, dragging them to the eastern wall. She could hear the clank of chains, she could see how the hooks were lowered. One Auditor, covered entirely in black, unrolled a scroll and was reading aloud, proclaiming the treason her family had been found guilty of, ‘fraternizing with the blood enemy’, ‘engaging with Enchanters’ and ‘soliciting Sangín’. But Lucrese knew this was all lies. All Father did was invite one of the Selda to speak of what potions were possible to heal the Curse. And the Sangín, they had lived peacefully side by side for generations. Even her great-grandmother knew of no strife between them. Yet the Auditors were here, dressed in that ominous lightswallowing black, reading out the crimes Father and Mother apparently committed. Lucrese knew she should run further into the forest, hide deeper, never be seen, but she could not leave. She had to see, to know, to understand just what was being done to her family even though she knew what would happen now, she knew, she knew, she could hear Mother’s cries and Father’s furious shouting, for he knew he had done no wrong, no wrong at all.

And so Lucrese stood and watched as her mother, her father, her brother and sisters were chained to the eastern wall of their homestead, how the first Auditor declared they were to be executed in the name of the Law for high treason against their blood and kin, for Lucrese knew the Royal Line saw itself as the Lords and Kings of all Nightwalkers. And so she stood and waited in horror, tears filling her eyes, for in greatest despair even a Nightwalker could cry. And she stood and waited and watched as the sun began to rise, the shadows falling, falling, burning so slowly, such agony, wisps of smoke rising from her parent’s heads, Mother cried, Father cursed and the children stared up in horror at the encroaching sun, screaming for their dear lives. Lucrese stood and watched and saw the Auditors take out long dark oblongs that they raised high – a tug, a blinding light, and sunlight flashed hotly off the mirrors. Lucrese ducked in time. Slowly she raised herself, careful to stay in the dark, the only place where she could see beyond the shadows into the light. And there, right there, lined up against the eastern wall of their homestead, were five heaps of ashes, smoking in the sun.

* * *

Cornwall, 2010

10 days to Winter Solstice
203rd year

Finally, some time to write and think. It’s done now, the Whelp is in the cellars, watered and fed, thought Mr Gellers down the road’s starting to give me weird looks. We might have to change our supplier.

Anyway, now, finally, I can actually sit down and just – I wish I could shout and scream and box Gav’s ears for his unbelievable stupidity. I told him it was an idiotic thing to do, but oh no, Mr Gavin C. Destrian himself had to show them the Sangín are real. I keep on telling him: the Aveugle are silly people. They only believe what they can touch and feel, what their little eyes can see. And even then they’ll start arguing. But no, Gav had to show them. He apparently was sick and tired of this talk as if our world doesn’t exist. I told him to be patient. A hundred years ago, that Potter woman would have been put behind bars for sorcery. Not to mention what would have happened during The Dark. Small steps, I said, you need to give them time. They’ll get to it, surely. Maybe in three generations to come, but it’s not like we can’t wait. Two hundred three and everyone still thinks I’m a teen. Mum’s stopped arguing, they think we’re sisters, and as for Gav. Well, I told him. I told him, don’t do it. The Sangín around here are not safe, they like to terrify people, Aveugle especially. But oh no. And now we have an Aveugle in the house, and she’s genuinely Bitten.

She’s very shocked. Spent the first week crying – when she wasn’t trying to rip our throats out . That Containing Spell Gran found in Romania back in 17-whatever really works. Probably even a full grown Sangín couldn’t break it, not that I’d ever try it out, unless I absolutely had to. I do feel sorry for her though, young Mel. Annabelle Lowry, but everyone call’s her Mel. And she didn’t even want to go, Gavin coaxed her to – probably why he feels like a stinking heap of dragon dung right now. I told him. The Sangín here are Not. Safe. But oh no. He knew better. They had to know. And now young Mel’s in our cellar so that she won’t rip out our throats by the merest irritation.

I think that’s the hardest part, acquiring unbreakable self control in so short a time. Never getting provoked. Holding yourself together to the very end. Until even the very last chain burst and suddenly you have a full grown werewolf on your hands. I told him. I really told him. Gav’s an Apprentice, he could never have kept the Containing Spell up so long. I told him. Even Mum told him, and Mum usually lets him get away with everything. Mum’s been awfully quiet actually. She hardly speaks to him, she just brews the potion and cuts the meat so that the poor thing won’t choke. She says nothing. A lot of nothing. A whole bookshelf and library full of nothing. I think it’s driving Gav mad. If Mum’d at least shout and scream, even curse him, I think he’d be relieved, but Mum doesn’t say anything.

It’s very hard for her though, young Mel. I can only imagine how it’s like, understanding that from now on, she’s one of the Sangín. It’s why I’ve been so busy. Mum’s been making me write letters to the Elders, and when I’m not writing, I’m making introductions all round. I’ve been up and down the Five Clans just to make sure nobody starts a war over this. Mum insisted I take Gav with me, I didn’t think it was wise, you never know how Nightwalkers might react to this, but they’ve been very civil, considering. Granted, Gav doesn’t say a word. He just stands there and lets them shout at him. At least they understand it’s done now, and the Elders are going to contact the Aveugle. Young Mel’s parents have already contacted their police. Gav and all his Aveugle friends lied very well, saying Mel got lost while they ran to the jeep. They’ve sent search parties into the woods, naturally they found nothing, Mum already went back and cleaned up the blood, you can’t have the parents terrified. Sensitive as Mel is now, she’ll feel her family’s fear and she’s already nervous enough. Nerves of steel is what a Sangín needs, at least that’s what Arrag says. He still comes to see me, brings me the paste once a week. The scars will remain, but they’ve healed. At least my clothes cover the most of it, though I can’t do low necklines any more. A pity, but I guess that is a small price for being alive at all.

 

7 Days to Winter Solstice
203rd year

Gran’s in France again, someone’s broken into another vault. Tynne Edvan came to ask her to join the Déblay. Why do they always do this? How can anyone be so insane? The Royal Line has died out, they cannot be resurrected, and thank all the Stars, Gods and Spirits for that. Who would want them back? They’d never tolerate the Balance and then it would be like the Old Days and Arrag could never come and give me the paste. Tuilen and Janic would not be allowed to live together, in fact, they’d probably execute Tuilen for blood treason. Not to mention everyone else. Lucius. Meredith. Gwendolynn. Cedric and the John brothers. Leonid and Katelyn. They’d basically have to go into hiding. A Sangín and an Enchanter, united? The Royals would burn their house down with all of them inside by the mere mention. Every Sangín would get the silver cup, every Nightwalker in the Five Clans would be sunlit, and we Enchanters would be on the run again, forever escaping the Auditors who saw nothing in us than slaves. I don’t know why anyone would want the Royal Line back, no one would ever be able to live in peace again. Who are these madmen?

Anyway, young Mel is doing a little better now. Arrag already came to call, he was with Braig this time so we could not talk. Mum did the formalities, and she went down with Braig to see young Mel. It was awkward, standing in the parlour alone with Arrag. It’s been twenty years now. He still will not look me in the eye. If I touch him, he flinches. He barely accepted the drink I offered. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him that I know he was provoked. I know it. Everyone knows it. And back then I would have said the vows but he would not. He does not trust himself anymore. Even if I knew to brew the potion, maybe one night he might forget to drink it, and then what? Until that night he was convinced it would work, but after… may the Gods curse me, but if ever I see Alda and Ivan again, I will load my soulmaker with all the silver bullets I can get and send them back to the dark pits they belong to. Arrag was the best of them all and they just – broke him. Just like that. The Royal Line would have been so proud of them.

Anyway. Mum said Braig was satisfied. He will send Leonid to come after Winter Solstice to help. The Lupena have already been contacted, they will take Mel into the Fold once she is used to the bloodlust and knows how to control it. None of us want another Gerem – Gods, what a disaster. Ten Aveugle dead, and the 11th so mauled they had to be merciful and let him pass as well. At least the Elders could convince the Aveugle officials that he was killed in self defence. The first time in decades that all Sangín-Clans joined together and went on a Hunt. They must have known the fault was entirely theirs. To let a Bitten Aveugle join the Fold without any safety valves… madness.

It’ll be another full moon tomorrow by the way, Gav’s already nervous. Last time young Mel mauled two cats and a dog. Had to bury them quick and explain the neighbours there’s been a very careless car-driver about. Gav is not happy. He said, ‘She was the nice one.’ Well, all I can say is that we Enchanters can’t have enough nice Sangín around.

© 2014 threegoodwords

aye me

courtesy of Stratford-upon-Avon’s Celebrated son

candles 5

sad hours seem long
or so the young lover sighs
in his rashness and melancholy
long written with
the heavy lightness of serious vanity
where misshapen chaos
builds well-seeming forms.

*

two houses, divided
ready to fall
bearing a son, a daughter
innocent of it all
until stars are crossed
and the young pilgrims meet
palm to palm
in the holy communion
of such innocent bliss

yet in the dark
eyes watch and watch
that know not peace
but hate the word as they hate hell
so furious enraged
against their soul’s hate
causing suns ancient to turn all fortune
and make one of many
who talk of dreams resting in an idle brain
to curse and cry in despair
a scratch, just a scratch!
so soon, too soon
triggering that rage
that would seal the fate of fortune’s fool

yet, in joyful sadness, a flight is made
with pleas to fortune, fickle fortune
to return all whole and well
but the mark was made
when sin from young lips were sweetly urged
and all cleverness cannot stop
that twist of fate
an apothecary’s drugs so quick
netting those lips by whose kiss
all hope subsides
and glinted steel ends love’s young life
after which what law there is declares:
All are punishéd.

*

What for then oh brawling love,
what for then if this loving hate
is anything of nothing
from which we first create
that heavy lightness, that serious vanity
wherein misshapen chaos 
creates well-seaming forms?
Aye me, sad hours seem long.

© 2014 threegoodwords

creature comforts

beach wild

The problem is:
how to be good and have everything,
how to do well without being bad about it,
how to have your cake and eat it all.

The problem is:
growing up with all those nifty nice,
smooth and sweet, industrialised
creature comforts

And then realise, a bit too late maybe
that to make them so nice
at such a great price
very many that live and breathe and grow
in spaces far away from your own
are brought verily verily terribly low
all the way to the borders
of those awful terms: pollution,  extinction
all out destruction.

And yet you were told,
over and over and oh so bold,
You, yes, you: you are the good one.

*

The problem is: what do you do
now that you’ve gotten used to
those comforts that are just too good
and you need them too, to survive, stay alive,
up to date and in time
in this superfast, new and improved
digital age of ultracool

where the phones are smart
and the tablets tools
where cats go viral
and ignoring that may brand you a fool
in the race to be first, to be in the know
of everything at work, at home, in school,
in the world…

For this planet that is Home
our home, no other
just one, you hear, just one

Our planet is now so connected
the globe seems like a crowded ball
full of people shouting, tweeting
trying, spying, lying
through their virtual teeth

simply to stay connected
and not fall off the face of the earth
deep down into has-been’s, where-are-they-now’s,
and what-happened-to’s,
that dreaded place: ‘I don’t know’,
that awful place: ‘Who?’

For We, the creatures, we cannot stand our own discomfort,
that tiny little feeling
that something’s not quite right
somewhere, somehow…

No, We, the creatures, we create our comfort
by telling, typing, filming, sharing
to make sure someone is there
to prove yes, you, you are real
there is nothing to worry about
move along here
and yes, we like you
see the numbers, it’s all there
it’s not a dream, it’s all true:
you really are the good one,
you, yes, you, and you too.

*

So, what to do now, now,
yes right now
before the sun grows dark in our eyes
before those infamous four riders
come bounding down
announcing, business like,
that it is time, it is time
for several plagues, lots of fire, unprecedented disaster,
that will all happen to you and you and you
and all the me’s existing, all the good ones too.

For the Riders don’t care about clicks and tweets
anything virtual, in the air
Once they arrive
it’s dislike time,
and it’ll keep persisting
no matter how others may keep on insisting
that it’s all lies lies lies!

The Four really don’t care
standing at the sidelines
in their fine suits and silk ties
reading through the script, announcing how
the winds will burn, the skies will fall
and the earth will burst like water
at half past two, precisely
only *breaking news*: it will be hottest, hottest lava
Not water at all
that, my dear viewers, will be very much gone.

And when the seas rise and the lands fall
from their civilised heights
We’ll be Back to Nature all right
And know it as it was once known
as what we, the creatures, live and breath and walk on
the real Mother of All.

The problem is:
that all this bother will happen
just when you sat down to drink that 
latte
and listen to another hand-played, over-made
hyperlinked song.

© 2014 threegoodwords

in memoriam

writing-arts-fountain-pen

Sometimes,
when walking down
the cobbled streets of this young republic
History as history as
the story beyond the stories told

creeps up on you silently
murderously precise
chilling in its horror
unmistakable in its terror

flashing golden in the street
embedded silently
into the very solidity you stand on,
shifting the ground beneath your feet.

*

In that moment
bending low in a ghostly bow
all else is silence

even memories of that great music
that was once the sole hallmark of this
old and ancient soil
a once-fragmented space
ruled by dukes and lords and princes
for centuries past
this battleground of faiths
this incubator of deep and deepest thoughts

unified ruthlessly under an unwilling emperor
and a rebellious king
who fraternized with the French
to receive sovereignty
the kingly crown
who’s son of his son
would go mad with love and life
and create breathtaking fairytales
that today are admired,
celebrated and duplicated all round.

* * *

A Lady with an ë
once wound along these rivers
and through these hills in a chaise and four,
wondering at this densely forested space
living quietly beyond the fingers of
what was known as civilization;

a place untouched by the wonders of the world
or so she thought
birthplace of so many geniuses in music
and thinkers of great, complicated thoughts.

And yet I wonder
if she in her elegance
could have foreseen that the very rivers and trees
the very hills and towns and cities
she visited and documented with such admiration
would one day harbour such industrialised insanity
such satanical banality
that went beyond the guillotined terror
she and her peers knew too well.

For that was the real horror, was it not
that was the ultimate shock
that civilisation could be rendered
null and void
by its very own foundations,
that loyalty could be despicable
obedience horrendous
silence inexcusable
and rationality the ultimate weapon
to destroy all faith in safety valves.

*

And now it is understood that
decrees are needed
rules and laws and regulations
set in metaphorical stone
to emblazon the coordinates for humanity.

For it was proven beyond doubt
in those awful twelve years
that you cannot trust anyone
no faith, no ideology, no religion
none who call themselves civilised,
no system of thought or belief,
to ascertain that mercy and compassion
what it means to be human, humane
would never be infringed.

For that was the horror of it,
that was the most ultimate of shocks:
that even the most ordinary human,
so civilised, so educated, so loyal,
 could be, given the right circumstance,
someone unquestionably monstrous.

© 2014 threegoodwords

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