monolog – three good words

May 26, 2025May 26, 2025

comms activated

What are you good at?

Boss: No, I said no. – Yah.

Agent: Boss.

Boss: Are you kidding me.

Agwnt: No, sir.

Boss: What is it this time.

Agent: Skills. Might be deep mining. There have been movements.

Boss: We literally just fixed it.

Agent: It’s an active operation, sir. Wilford confirmed.

Boss: Christ.

Agent: Should I -?

Boss: Yes, yes, Mission Control!

Agent: Notified, sir

May 22, 2025May 22, 2025

That is a terrible question. Phenomenal. Frankly, I’m horrified. The police should arrest you. Constable? Arrest this man. Yes, arrest him. Now. For asking silly questions. No wait, that would be public nuisance, wouldn’t it. Yes, yes, take him away. Clap him in chains. Throw him into the Tower of London. It’s haunted, isn’t it? The Tower. In London. Yes. Good Lord, don’t you know your own history? You should be ashamed of yourself. Look at you, sitting there with your microphone, clueless of your own forebears. Don’t tell me. Your last name is Hartford, isn’t it? See. You must be at least a little bit English. Shameful. How can you not know? You should read a book, you know. Reading is good for you. Oh, you do? What kind? Well then. Honestly, how did you survive Shakespeare if you don’t know about the Tower of London? Have you even seen a play? Good God. Oh? That doesn’t count. Everyone has seen Romeo and Juliet. Every pimply teenager with groinal urges has seen Romeo and Juliet. I’m not exaggerating. Sex, death, and religion, what more could you want? Best of them have all three. Come now, don’t be so prudish. You Americans, always up in arms about everything. Isn’t that exhausting? I’d be exhausted. Every five minutes some new outrage. Wretched. I’d be very upset if I were you. Is this coffee? Horrific stuff. Never drink it. Ah, tea. Thank God, much better.

May 15, 2025May 15, 2025

Denzel Washington look

Are you a leader or a follower?

Say that again. No, no, no, if you’re so bold to say that mess out loud, you can stand right there and repeat what you just said. Let everybody hear it. Go on. Say it with your chest. Louder. There ya go. Wasn’t so hard now, was it. Ok. Ok. What do you think. I want your opinion, kid. What do you think I am. I am standing right here, boy, no need to look around. They don’t know, forget them. But you know, big man, don’t you. What am I. A what? A leader? Imagine that. A leader. A leader. And what do you call leaders? Speak up! Sir, exactly. There. Everybody hear that? Sir. See, we all learned something today. Now, stop wasting my time and get back out there. That’s right. Right on that green grass. Mr. Marley’s been keepin’ it healthy for us, hasn’t he. Say thank you to Mr. Marley. See, manners. Now get out. You need me to write you a letter? Move. Move! Move! You, too, Davy, get outta here.

April 1, 2025April 1, 2025

Viola Davis look

What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?

What’s your name. Name only. Brayden. Ok. Brayden, are we married? That’s an easy question to answer. Are we married? Didn’t think so. Do you buy my groceries, Brayden? No. Are you currently in my employ? Not to my knowledge or yours, apparently. Why are you standing. Sit down. Good. Who sent you? If you have to think about it, then you don’t know, and if you don’t know, then you were contracted, and if you were contracted to ask me these questions, Brayden, then we all have a problem. Class, what is the first rule of answering questions? You in the blue sweater. Never answer without legal representation. Exactly. Brayden, what are you doing? No, stay. There’s a lesson to be learned here about why you should always know who you’re talking to. Which, as we have all seen, you don’t. Now, sit down and pay attention. I guarantee you, you will need this later. Don’t trust me, ask them. You will.