at the window, 2

rain 3

He did look surprised.
Granted she was wearing a sari.

Yes, she had one.
She looked like a natural too.
It was the hair. And the cheek bones.
And her eyes were dark, darkest dark, with nice lashes.

She had great lashes, she had to admit.
Really great lashes.

She made pastries and wrapped them in papier-mâché,
pink, yellow, blue and green.

Caden was in his office, looked up from his computer and quite nearly stared.
He had the strangest eyes, they had all colours.
Really, all of them.
He didn’t say anything though.

She put the wrapped pastry on the desk, she hoped he liked them,
they were a little on the sweet side.
She was certain he thought she was out of her mind.
It was that look
Hard to describe.
But he did say thank you.

Sunny’s reception was much more pleasant.
Marla walked in, Sunny gasped and jumped to her feet, ‘Oh my God, Marla! That’s incredible!’
She asked a lot of questions, how it was tied, where she got it from, it was unbelievable, really, where did she get it from?

Sunny surprised Marla with a present herself, a little bracelet with tiny flashing shamrocks. ‘I know it’s not Hindu or anything, but it’s for luck. You don’t have to wear it, but we live above an Irish pub, so – ’ Sunny shrugged and smiled.

Marla turned to the screen.
So it had happened.
What she never understood was why.
Go somewhere else.
The pool was a wide space, but no.
It was a movie after all.
And there he was,
sitting so scenically on the white.
Anyway.

 *

wine

Marla just had the girls over.

It was the fourth time now.
They came over, loud and laughing, congregating around the scrubbed wood table, waiting to be watered and fed.

The first time they came, Sunny dropped by to say Hi, just before she changed to go down. Marla offered her a drink, Sunny accepted and in the ten minutes she stayed, Theresa asked and Sunny answered and Marla found out that Caden had refurbished the loft single-handedly, ‘That was his way of getting over it.’

Of course the girls got curious. Sunny was happy to explain. She’d been at her Mum’s again, and when she came back three weeks later, the door to the stairs was gone, there was a carpet and the loft was what it looked like now. There had been no workers, but with Caden’s Dad being an architect and all ‘it kind o’ made sense’.

Marla caught meaningful looks from Theresa and Val. She ignored them. All four had already seen her loft and praised the space. Apparently they could ‘see she lived there’.

Once Sunny left that evening, the questions began.
Marla refused to answer.
She would not discuss Caden Tellis.
That didn’t stop them.

The stub glowed red.
The night was a dark, city bright.
The cup in her hand, still warm, smooth.
Downstairs someone opened a door,
guitars and voices spilled out, loud.

Every time Marla’s friends came to her place, every time they saw her actually, they started again.

This time it was the very simple, the harmless fact that Marla left a pasta casserole to warm in the oven. She’d noticed her housemates liked it the last time she made it, and busy as they were with the band today, she made one. It wasn’t much effort, she was cooking anyway.

Of course the girls noticed.

Irene asked if Marla’s plan was to insinuate herself into the man’s head via his stomach. Marla pointed out that the casserole was for Sunny as well. This did not matter. In fact, it just showed she was being clever about it. Marla rolled her eyes.

Theresa wanted to know how it was to live with him, was he orderly or messy and did he run around naked? Irene wanted to know if he drank a lot and if he had many women. Val just gave her that look. Marla never liked that look. Beth in turn asked if Marla thought he’d be interested in anyone over 25, it was so hard these days now that she had that three, not that she was really thinking about him or anything, but you know it was ‘just a thought.’

Marla finally sighed and said that if anyone wanted dessert they should change the subject right now. They did, eventually, though Val did whisper, ‘I know you’re hiding something,’ when the others weren’t looking.

mary janesMarla wasn’t exactly hiding something.
There were women.
Val would have called them ‘decent’.
Theresa would have shrugged,‘Oh well’.
Beth would have not been pleased.

They would come and kiss him as a greeting, stand at the counter admiring everything, Caden most of all, trying to look cool, aloof and much too good for anyone until Caden found time to leave.

He never brought them upstairs and they never lasted long.

She would have liked to know where he met them.
They were all not the kind who entered O’Connor’s voluntarily.
West-End was more their habitat.
Wine bars and chic cafés, that kind of thing.

Sunny had dropped a few hints about an Emma or Ella or something like that, from a couple years back. She seemed to have been around for a while, but Marla didn’t think it right to ask.

That was just about everything she knew.
Marla had no problems communicating everything to the girls.
That only made things worse.
Now they were convinced he had been mistreated by that Emma-Ella person.
He was possibly so jaded he could no longer commit etc. etc. etc.

It never ends.

Marla stubbed her cigarette and closed the window.
She drank another sip of her tea and looked at the screen.
The police were investigating.

All those controlled bodies,
level looks, fresh young faces.
How was it when they got angry?
Genuinely drunk?
How did they cry when no one was watching?

Val wasn’t wholly wrong though.
There was one thing Marla didn’t tell anyone.
It was simple: every Sunday morning, Marla and Caden had breakfast together. It really was that simple. Breakfast.
There was nothing outrageous about breakfast.

Sunny was a late sleeper and always went partying on Saturday nights.
She either slept till four or stayed at whichever of her boys she was currently seeing. The pub didn’t open till two. The Sunday crowd was always a little quieter than the rest.

Mondays were closed.
Caden was usually out making errands or doing whatever it was he did.
Yet for some reason Sundays were the days they had breakfast.

She remembered the first. She came down and he was already making coffee and they simply went about their own business. When she came down the second Sunday the kitchen was empty, but he walked in moments after she started the kettle. That, she guessed, was how it started. And even that didn’t sound right.

coffee 6

At first Marla thought it was a coincidence.
It was three months now and it still kept on happening.

She always went down between ten and twelve.
Ample room for fluctuation.
Either he was already there or showed up a short while later.
If she came later he would start some eggs and fry more bacon without asking. If he came later she naturally did the same.

She would have to admit that she at first thought it rather sweet of him. Then Sunny came in last one Sunday and was given equal treatment. There was no need to feel disappointed, it just showed he was generally considerate.

There was movement on the screen.
One of those long, slow conversations.
Staged without being stale.

To spend a summer in the South of France.
But a nice one. Without all that mess in the end.

Her mother would be visiting soon. Saturday in fact.
Marla tried to look forward to it.

Ever since Alicia came to visit that first time, Marla was never safe from questions about ‘that man you’re living with’. She was not spared warnings of such ‘obviously handsome men’ who very likely were so used to ‘having their own way’ with women, which made them outright dangerous.

One look and Alicia Whitman-Brandon was convinced that Caden Tellis was last person Marla should be living with. She actually said, ‘Such men can never be responsible. Don’t look at me like that. They’re used to getting what they want. Not safe. Definitely not safe. ’

Theresa must have told her something.

Alicia had called it ‘his influx of women’ and that suspicious behaviour of never taking them home, though you never knew what that Emma-Ella person had done, women could be so cruel sometimes, but it was good Marla stayed away from him, it would only disturb their living relations if all that business came in between, one of them was bound to take it too seriously, these weren’t the old days anymore, nothing was casual. Marla should much rather find someone else and move out, that would be better for everyone, Sadie and Terry were together for five years now and apparently there were hints of marriage, not that she really cared, it was much better for taxes though and Sadie would keep her name as a matter of course, in fact but for taxes there really was no reason, but it was kind of silly that her sister would be married before she was, wasn’t it, really Marla why didn’t she go out more?

Marla sighed and drank her tea.
At least she still had tomorrow.

© 2014 threegoodwords

at the window, 1

la-piscine

So maybe she was a little different, ok.
Maybe she did live an unusual life, all right.

Alain Delon was beautiful. Back then.
Then he went Bardot. A pity.

So maybe she thought a bit too much.

Romy Schneider? Gorgeous.
She’d love to have a swimming pool.

Crystal blue. Shrubs and greenery seaming the stone.
Hot, hot days.
White cushions to sink into.
Drinking longdrinks, ice clinking, stumbling about.
Without all that mess in the end.

‘Intellectual’ was a silly word.
She took the time to think one thought through to the end
before starting with another.

It started in Paris, as these things start. Then there was India, then a long stint in New York. Finally, London where one could find India just a few streets away.

How many of them wished they were young again?
Young and beautiful and daring
without all those crazy mistakes they made?
How many wanted none of that, and were actually that thing that was so rare: How many were happy, content, blissfully self-aware?

*

candles 2

Alone in her room, naked except for an old bathrobe, Marla continued smoking her cigarette. She rarely smoked, but right now she felt like one. Windows open, the night black, lights speckling the emptiness. The bathrobe was a cheap piece from a corner shop in Camden, cream with black borders. A violently red and purple dragon with golden fangs and talons on the back. The black sash kept everything from falling wide open.

Behind her, La Piscine, The Swimming Pool, flickering across the screen. She carried the whole thing up there just recently, plugged in all the cables, figured out all the channels, and found a way to get that French one as well. No advertisements, just movies, short and long, documentaries, reports, news, interviews, exactly what a girl wanted.

Delon smoldered on the screen.
Schneider beamed back, cheekily.
They were beautiful. Back then. What a pity.
Age should not happen to people.
It softened something, in the muscles, in the brain.

And then you started saying very stupid things
with absolute conviction.

But he was that. Then. So was she, but she… that was sad. A real pity.
And the cute girl with the cropped hair, sun-kissed skin and the blotched bright dress, pouting. As she would, if he ran off like that. What happened to her? Was she ever seen, filmed, screened again?

Marla turned away, she knew the rest.

Standing at the open window, she drank from her cup of tea.
The chill breeze slipped icily over her skin. She didn’t move though. She didn’t readjust the belt, everything was slipping, but she was safe from curious eyes. All around were only rooftops and chimneys.

It was quiet enough to hear that low throb of the pub downstairs.

If she thought about it long enough, it was as if the music was rising up through her toes, up past her calves and thighs, all the way into her.

He had taught her not only to listen, but to feel.
How old was she, five? Seven? Somewhere there.

Sitting cross legged in front of the record player, having him hold her on his lap, telling her who the singer was, where they were playing, showing her the sleeves. She understood nothing, but she felt it, the music, rising up from the floor through her toes and soles, up her legs all the way into her, until it wrapped itself around her heart and filled the beat, until she felt it way down to what she knew was her core.

Singing to the music was a part of it after that. Humming, tapping, clapping, remembering the lyrics when it caught that cord in her soul.

That was them, then. Alicia and Ric, Ma and Pa.
The music, the laughter, the crazy friends.
Those late nights where Marla would wake up and hear the bongos and guitars downstairs, the singing and laughter. Always the laughter, real, genuine, from the heart.

And she would creep down with Jackson and Sadie, and see their mother and father dance and sing, and play their instruments with their friends, drinking straight out of wine bottles and finishing a whole bottle of whisky, sometimes even climbing onto the table top. Or when Bella, Dr. Garcia’s Andalusian wife, would dance a flamenco that was breathtaking.

Bella showed them how to make paella, her mother was from the north east, near Bilbao. She said it wasn’t right if you weren’t close to the sea. Marla still made it at family dinners.

food 5

It was a Brandon tradition to eat dinner together, all five of them, Alicia, Ric, Jackson, Sadie and herself, mother, father, and three kids. Dinners were always loud, boisterous. Arguments, laughter, more arguments. Plates, bowls and drinks, salt, pepper, chutney and masala passed around without actually breaking the conversation.

Her new housemates were quiet eaters.
If they did eat together, which was rare.
If they did eat together, then it was done quickly, as if eating was a nuisance to get over with.

Marla loved long dinners. She watched, amazed.

The hasty cooking, the impatient sitting down and getting up, the rush to rinse dishes and stack everything into the dish washer. If anything was said, then it had to do with plans for the pub, some new acquaintance Sunny had made the previous night or what was happening in her circle of friends.

Caden seemed to have no private life.
At least he never mentioned one.

He seemed only to exist to see that the pub did good business, that the supplies were well-stocked, and that the bands signed up in time and had enough equipment.

The tea was still warm, almost hot, nicely smooth and sweet.
The cup warmed her hand, the cigarette glowing in the dark, red.

He wasn’t rude, nor in fact quiet.
He was simply very sparse with his words.
Attentive though. And observant.

You had to be, to keep a pub running without fights breaking out.
That bloke who thought someone had looked at his girl wrong.
Those two who thought Sunny was fair game.
Caden just needed to ask the person if he could help him on and all was settled again.

It didn’t happen often though. O’Connor’s was a place where friends came to have a pint, play a game of darts or pool. Every now and then old rivalries would break through, yes, but if Sunny couldn’t break it up, Caden would.

He really didn’t do anything.
He was just there.
It was that look.
Hard to describe really.

And then there was Sunny. They were so different in temperament and character. Marla was surprised that they managed to live in the same house for so long.

She knew bits and pieces now.

What was now the office used to be Adam O’Connor’s room, the man who took over the derelict pub many years back, at least twenty from what Marla understood. Caden’s last name was Tellis though, so he could hardly be Adam’s son. Sunny was Adam’s niece, she moved in with Adam in her early teens. There was more to that, but she couldn’t ask yet. In a few weeks, maybe.

Adam passed away a few years back, four or five, Marla couldn’t say.

They missed him, both in their own way. Sunny with comments that started with, ‘Adam used to say’, Caden by never mentioning him unless Sunny made him, and then only very little. They must have been close though. Caden rightfully owned O’Connor’s and the whole house with it.

How did that happen?
She would have to wait.
A few months maybe.

Marla drew on her cigarette, exhaled.
Her fingers were still stained from the Henna.
Diwali was just a week away.

Sunny walked into the kitchen and asked Marla about the lamps. Marla explained about the fight of good and evil, the victory of the light within. Sunny was surprised. A bit amused. She asked if she was into religion, a bit as if Marla had a limp. Marla made tea and asked Sunny if she wanted a cup. They sat down at the scrubbed-wood table, and Marla explained her years in India, seven in total, rain seasons in Mumbai, and summers in Madras with family friends.

Lighting the candles.
Standing on the veranda,
hearing the insects, seeing the night.
The ocean, wide.
Stars out in billions.
Life.

candles 3They had a long talk about what it meant to have a faith, if it made sense to have one and what Sunny believed in –  ‘I mean, I guess there’s something, but I really wouldn’t know what it is, y’know?’ – and how it had been to go to confession when she felt she had nothing to confess. It was the first serious talk they had. It left Marla with the feeling that despite her happy, chatty ways, Sunny did have a few deeper thoughts in her head.

Caden said nothing to the lamps, the candles, nor the mehndi Marla painted on Sunny’s hands. Sunny really liked them, ‘It’s like a tattoo but it isn’t? That’s totally cool!’

That afternoon was filled with stories about make-up, fashion and boys. A lot about boys. Mostly about boys actually, and what utter idiots they were. And how cute. And how stupid. And how sweet. And how thick. And how lovely. And how utterly useless, really there was no point in them anyway. But whatever-his-name was really hot, drool-worthy, awesome.

Marla smiled. Sunny was twenty after all.
Marla had mellowed to live and let live, but Sunny still made radical stands.
Twenty.
That was almost ten years ago. A decade. A whole decade.
She was thinking in decades now.
Like when she said ‘last time’ and realised it was actually three years ago.
And ‘yesterday’ had turned into last year.

© 2014 threegoodwords

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