growing up – Page 3 – three good words

March 26, 2016

all the time

a heartbeat

where i wish i could be
several me’s all at once
not split up, not even clones
just me several times over
so i can:

read this
write that
tell that story
watch that movie
hear that interview, podcast, song
read that blog

and have enough time for

mindfulness, peace

but also

write that proposal
answer those emails
make that call
read that article
share that thought-piece
refresh that page
upload that pic
like that comment
double-check that tweet

without forgetting to

drink enough water
take time to cook
eat right
be right
have a slice of great pie
go jogging
stretch right
maybe yoga
maybe swim
go out with people
dance a bit
socialise

and know just enough

about fashion, movies
books, trends, scandals
cocktails and wine
to be in the know
fit in
stay in the flow
of what’s cool
(nobody says ‘vogue’ anymore)

but also have the time to

potato on the couch
netflix, pinterest, spotify

without forgetting to

make things
create things
grow things
be things

so many more things

that are mine and not mine
all at once
all the time
all the time
all the time
.

March 21, 2016

to a young(er) friend

ok, let’s talk about it
that thing that disturbs so many

oh god, not again
#sigh #rollseyes
though somewhere I read that
porn has become the new sex-ed

um, what?

i don’t even know what to think of that
where to start where to end
and, oh, the visuals
endless, endless
sunk deep into the web

which makes things so difficult
when the deed is actually to be done
because intercourse
depends on one thing a screen can’t provide
(not that people don’t try…)

bodies.
real bodies. alive.
living, breathing
actual people
humans
with skin and hands and mouths
personal scents and personal sounds.

touch. feeling.
such small words
doors to so many worlds.

#obvious I know
but think about it

a person’s presence
cannot be fast-forwarded
freeze-framed
clicked away
edited
photoshopped
or otherwise modified

not to mention their preferences
their pasts and presents
their hopes for the future
in unknown beds

that one moment in their lives
that can outlast all others for
hours, days
years on end
it all depends

on what actually happened.

there are infinite variations
like flowers and bees
and all the other species on the planet.
so let’s talk about it
that thing that disturbs so many

y’know
what needed to happen
for you to be here in the first place :D

oh my god TMI!!!

February 29, 2016

Q:
Are we really taught
to understand
what it means to grow?
And why up?
Why not down?
Like down to earth and down payment
such adult little things
where you’re suddenly the one saying
“Keep it down” to the kids.

I mean, so many questions
are left unasked
until the envelopes arrive
stamped and signed
asking, demanding
most politely
for you to sign off
your right to be alive.

A:
Well, child
What am I to say?
We’re all just muddling along
doing our best to stay warm
be happy
and avoid strife.
That’s what it’s all about
this thing called life.

So be warm
stay happy
and when faced with
a hitch, a turbulance
a bona fide forest fire
fix it
fight it
ride it out.

It is, after all, your life.

January 19, 2015January 19, 2015

alma mater

strange to retrace
the steps you once took
eagerly expecting an eduction
and getting more, way more
than you first expected

not just the books bought
and the papers written
but the friends and heartbreak
the clandestine lovers
breaking up in furious tears and shouting
once discussed and inevitably discovered
yes, you two, I know who you are…

the novelties found
the loyalties broken
the real friends made
those many words said
and unspoken
in between and all around
the hours sitting, pouring, agonizing
studying, practicing, memorising
and finally, finally, understanding
all those things you’ll actually
– I guarantee you –
really need later on
in the big bad rest of the world
with its sharp fangs and cold snout

that wide open place where suddenly
being clueless is a country of its own
which you have a permanent visa for
coz it doesn’t get better, does it?
oh no, it gets so much more
like an effing sitcom

where time and again
you’re made to understand
the connection between bat excrement (urgh)
and fucking crazy, excuse my French
(why French anyway?)

and you know youth is not wasted on the young
it’s exactly what’s needed to get through it all
and not end up neurotic, eccentric,
not to mention unnecessarily high strung

oh, wait…
naw, it’s all good
it’s the simple fact that
now, years later
you’re no longer either one
or the other
you’re who you are:
still a kid and genuinely grown up.