fiction – Page 5 – three good words

May 22, 2025May 22, 2025

Hugh Grant squint

Do you have any collections?

That is a terrible question. Phenomenal. Frankly, I’m horrified. The police should arrest you. Constable? Arrest this man. Yes, arrest him. Now. For asking silly questions. No wait, that would be public nuisance, wouldn’t it. Yes, yes, take him away. Clap him in chains. Throw him into the Tower of London. It’s haunted, isn’t it? The Tower. In London. Yes. Good Lord, don’t you know your own history? You should be ashamed of yourself. Look at you, sitting there with your microphone, clueless of your own forebears. Don’t tell me. Your last name is Hartford, isn’t it? See. You must be at least a little bit English. Shameful. How can you not know? You should read a book, you know. Reading is good for you. Oh, you do? What kind? Well then. Honestly, how did you survive Shakespeare if you don’t know about the Tower of London? Have you even seen a play? Good God. Oh? That doesn’t count. Everyone has seen Romeo and Juliet. Every pimply teenager with groinal urges has seen Romeo and Juliet. I’m not exaggerating. Sex, death, and religion, what more could you want? Best of them have all three. Come now, don’t be so prudish. You Americans, always up in arms about everything. Isn’t that exhausting? I’d be exhausted. Every five minutes some new outrage. Wretched. I’d be very upset if I were you. Is this coffee? Horrific stuff. Never drink it. Ah, tea. Thank God, much better.

May 21, 2025May 21, 2025

BEHOLD!

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

Secondary Lit. on the Secondary Lit.

Yes, you heard me.

NOT JUST LORE:
COMMENTARY ON THE COMMENTARY!

*evil laugh*

#dailysnark

May 20, 2025May 20, 2025

cold snap

How do you feel about cold weather?

Autumn is hands down the best season.

Bright warm days followed by rain and then suddenly: snow! Then bright warm days again.

Meanwhile, the leaves are turning into every kind of gold and red.

Perfection.

#sweaterweather

May 15, 2025May 15, 2025

Denzel Washington look

Are you a leader or a follower?

Say that again. No, no, no, if you’re so bold to say that mess out loud, you can stand right there and repeat what you just said. Let everybody hear it. Go on. Say it with your chest. Louder. There ya go. Wasn’t so hard now, was it. Ok. Ok. What do you think. I want your opinion, kid. What do you think I am. I am standing right here, boy, no need to look around. They don’t know, forget them. But you know, big man, don’t you. What am I. A what? A leader? Imagine that. A leader. A leader. And what do you call leaders? Speak up! Sir, exactly. There. Everybody hear that? Sir. See, we all learned something today. Now, stop wasting my time and get back out there. That’s right. Right on that green grass. Mr. Marley’s been keepin’ it healthy for us, hasn’t he. Say thank you to Mr. Marley. See, manners. Now get out. You need me to write you a letter? Move. Move! Move! You, too, Davy, get outta here.

May 14, 2025May 14, 2025