*Hugh Grant squint*

Do you have any collections?

That is a terrible question. Phenomenal. Frankly, I’m horrified. The police should arrest you. Constable? Arrest this man. Yes, arrest him. Now. For asking silly questions. No wait, that would be public nuisance, wouldn’t it. Yes, yes, take him away. Clap him in chains. Throw him into the Tower of London. It’s haunted, isn’t it? The Tower. In London. Yes. Good Lord, don’t you know your own history? You should be ashamed of yourself. Look at you, sitting there with your microphone, clueless of your own forebears. Don’t tell me. Your last name is Hartford, isn’t it? See. You must be at least a little bit English. Shameful. How can you not know? You should read a book, you know. Reading is good for you. Oh, you do? What kind? Well then. Honestly, how did you survive Shakespeare if you don’t know about the Tower of London? Have you even seen a play? Good God. Oh? That doesn’t count. Everyone has seen Romeo and Juliet. Every pimply teenager with groinal urges has seen Romeo and Juliet. I’m not exaggerating. Sex, death, and religion, what more could you want? Best of them have all three. Come now, don’t be so prudish. You Americans, always up in arms about everything. Isn’t that exhausting? I’d be exhausted. Every five minutes some new outrage. Wretched. I’d be very upset if I were you. Is this coffee? Horrific stuff. Never drink it. Ah, tea. Thank God, much better.

© 2025 threegoodwords

The Late 1900s

What’s the oldest things you’re wearing today?

So, this sweatshirt here is vintage turn-of-the-century. Very comfortable. Very durable. You see these fibres? They were built to last. Have a look. Feel that? This sweatshirt has been washed a gajillion times and it’s still fantastic quality. Amazing, right?

Yeah, they don’t make them like this anymore.

#retro #friday

slow down

What’s one small improvement you can make in your life?

Breathe.
That email can wait. Yes, it can.
Take real breaks.

Put your phone away at least one hour before you go to bed.

Slow down.
Enjoy the little things.
Make good moments.

Time is the one thing you will not get back again.

#tuesdaythoughts

haha no

What is your career plan?

Nope. Not falling for that one.

A career is work is labour.
And who exactly are you labouring for?

Exactly.
Go and enjoy your weekend.

#friday

*MI6 Mission Control*

List the people you admire and look to for advice…

James Bond: They’ve breached containment.

Mission Control: When?

Bond: Just now.

M: Is that Bond?

Mission Control: Yes, Ma’am. Containment has been breached.

M: Time?

Mission Control: We have been able to gather data for the last seventeen hours.

M: All of it?

Mission Control: Yes, ma’am. We have separate servers for this to avoid cross-contamination. One second, ma’am, he’s back online.

Bond: They’re not even hiding anymore. I think they want us to know they know we’re watching. It’s a direct target approach.

Mission Control: Direct target approach, ma’am.

M: Ask him why.

Mission Control: Why?

Bond: They’re mining. Moneypenny has the files.

M: No need, I have the files. Everyone. It’s official. Data is the new gold, and the gold rush has started as of now. Tell him not to raise any waves. We need to know how they’re operating

Mission Control: Eyes only, agent. No interference.

Bond: Bloody hell. We can stop it!

M: Bond. Eyes only. The moment containment was breached it was out of our hands. Now stay out of sight. Over and out.

© 2025 threegoodowords

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