*Hugh Grant squint*

Do you have any collections?

That is a terrible question. Phenomenal. Frankly, I’m horrified. The police should arrest you. Constable? Arrest this man. Yes, arrest him. Now. For asking silly questions. No wait, that would be public nuisance, wouldn’t it. Yes, yes, take him away. Clap him in chains. Throw him into the Tower of London. It’s haunted, isn’t it? The Tower. In London. Yes. Good Lord, don’t you know your own history? You should be ashamed of yourself. Look at you, sitting there with your microphone, clueless of your own forebears. Don’t tell me. Your last name is Hartford, isn’t it? See. You must be at least a little bit English. Shameful. How can you not know? You should read a book, you know. Reading is good for you. Oh, you do? What kind? Well then. Honestly, how did you survive Shakespeare if you don’t know about the Tower of London? Have you even seen a play? Good God. Oh? That doesn’t count. Everyone has seen Romeo and Juliet. Every pimply teenager with groinal urges has seen Romeo and Juliet. I’m not exaggerating. Sex, death, and religion, what more could you want? Best of them have all three. Come now, don’t be so prudish. You Americans, always up in arms about everything. Isn’t that exhausting? I’d be exhausted. Every five minutes some new outrage. Wretched. I’d be very upset if I were you. Is this coffee? Horrific stuff. Never drink it. Ah, tea. Thank God, much better.

© 2025 threegoodwords

BEHOLD!

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

Secondary Lit. on the Secondary Lit.

Yes, you heard me.

NOT JUST LORE:
COMMENTARY ON THE COMMENTARY!

*evil laugh*

#dailysnark

*opens comms*

Have you ever broken a bone?

Agent: Boss?

Boss: What is it this time.

Agent: Grey’s Anatomy, sir.

Boss: What?

Agent: New code, sir. For when it gets biological.

Boss: Did Wilford think that up?

Agent: It seems so, sir.

Boss: Naturally. Contact Mission Control.

Agent: Yes, sir.

#monday

ad infinitum

How do you balance work and home life?

In the Year of our Lord 2025
One Work to Make the Money
Only enough to Stay Alive
More Work to Make some Money
Not enough to Live or Thrive

*

Balance? What Balance?

To a lot of people, Home Life is Work after Work:

You come home after a long day at The Job,
And you need to cook because hungry
And you need to clean because good Lord: laundry.

For cooking and cleaning to actually happen, you need to shop.
Have you gone shopping?
And did you get everything you needed?

One of you or both of you forgot the canned tomatoes and the detergent. Again.

And then there’s the laundry.
Always the laundry.
And then there’s the dishes.
Always the dishes.

Someone needs to strip the bed.
Someone needs to clean the bathroom.
Someone needs to wipe the floors.
Someone needs to go and vacuum.

One of you or both you forgot to put the bins out. Again.

If you have children that’s a whole other body of work right there:
From bathing and bedtime to extracurriculars and homework, there is Work to Be Done.

The Children need Raising.
The Children need Tending
The Children need Minding.
The Children need Care.

All while making sure their bodies stay healthy
And their brains don’t get scrambled
And their souls don’t get eaten by Whoever Online.

Also quality time.
Also weekend activities.
Also family visits.
Also birthdays, holidays, vacations.

One of you or both of you forgot to schedule that appointment. Again.

The Children need Raising.
The Children need Tending
The Children need Minding.
The Children need Care.

Oh, and they need clothes. And shoes.
And all of those clothes and shoes need to be season appropriate.
By the way, they keep on growing.
They need new clothes. Again.
They need new shoes. Again.
And there’s this thing called fashion.

Have you gone shopping?
And did you get everything you needed?

One of you or both of you got the wrong t-shirt. Again.

Someone needs to strip the bed.
Someone needs to clean the bathroom.
Someone needs to wipe the floors.
Someone needs to go and vacuum.

And then there’s the laundry.
Always the laundry.
And then there’s the dishes.
Always the dishes.

Also quality time.
Also weekend activities.
Also family visits.
Also DIY, Repairs, The Garden.

One of you or both of you just got sick. Again.

Sleep? Isn’t happening
Peace? Isn’t happening
Quiet? Isn’t happening.
Get well. Now.

Someone needs to strip the bed.
Someone needs to clean the bathroom.
Someone needs to wipe the floors.
Someone needs to go and vacuum.

And then there’s the laundry.
Always the laundry.
And then there’s the dishes.
Always the dishes.

Always the laundry.
Always the dishes.

Always the laundry.
Always the dishes.

©2025 threegoodwords

The Late 1900s

What’s the oldest things you’re wearing today?

So, this sweatshirt here is vintage turn-of-the-century. Very comfortable. Very durable. You see these fibres? They were built to last. Have a look. Feel that? This sweatshirt has been washed a gajillion times and it’s still fantastic quality. Amazing, right?

Yeah, they don’t make them like this anymore.

#retro #friday

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