imagine once

Castle_by_VonKalkmann

there is something in the silence of the clear lines,
the divine arches of the old orders, now long lost in time
where silver and marble, wheat, amber and gold
were the wealth of a few amongst many;
that time, once, so far away
celebrated today in lands of plenty
a time, once, where life was short, hardship unquestioned,
and the sweetness of solace a luxury felt to the core.

A time, yes, when fire was known for its ecstatic warmth,
the flames divine and terrible, their power
and presence felt too often on human skin and human soul;
a time, too, when water was the sword of truth
by which holiness was divined, though to drink it alone was unwise
unless in beer, ale, or wine;

that time where earth and air were powers that gave and took
that made and broke whole realms with wind and weather and storm,
by the droughts so dreaded, and crops finally growing,
the rains prayed for , the sun steadily glowing…

…can we, today, in our lands of plenty
imagine once, just once, what it meant to be, to live, back then
when time was sun and moon and stars,
legends holy and sung, the songs of praise whispered and hummed
over open fires, heating the cauldrons that fed all in house and hut,
after thanking with grace and gratitude
the great, the holy, the oneclouds 1

© 2015 threegoodwords

the royal line

dark moon

England, 1465

‘Run,’ she said. ‘Run, Lucrese, run!’ And Lucrese picked up her skirts and ran, ran into the dark that rose high into the night, the forest with its welcoming trees, ran and ran and ran, hearing the screams behind her, the shadows flickering high before her, the torches so ominous with their blue flames. The Royal Line had found them, the Auditors had come. Lucrese ran behind a wide tree trunk, stopped and turned around. Yes, they had come. Their blue torches flaming high, dragging Mother, Father, William, Thea, even young Merla, dragging them to the eastern wall. She could hear the clank of chains, she could see how the hooks were lowered. One Auditor, covered entirely in black, unrolled a scroll and was reading aloud, proclaiming the treason her family had been found guilty of, ‘fraternizing with the blood enemy’, ‘engaging with Enchanters’ and ‘soliciting Sangín’. But Lucrese knew this was all lies. All Father did was invite one of the Selda to speak of what potions were possible to heal the Curse. And the Sangín, they had lived peacefully side by side for generations. Even her great-grandmother knew of no strife between them. Yet the Auditors were here, dressed in that ominous lightswallowing black, reading out the crimes Father and Mother apparently committed. Lucrese knew she should run further into the forest, hide deeper, never be seen, but she could not leave. She had to see, to know, to understand just what was being done to her family even though she knew what would happen now, she knew, she knew, she could hear Mother’s cries and Father’s furious shouting, for he knew he had done no wrong, no wrong at all.

And so Lucrese stood and watched as her mother, her father, her brother and sisters were chained to the eastern wall of their homestead, how the first Auditor declared they were to be executed in the name of the Law for high treason against their blood and kin, for Lucrese knew the Royal Line saw itself as the Lords and Kings of all Nightwalkers. And so she stood and waited in horror, tears filling her eyes, for in greatest despair even a Nightwalker could cry. And she stood and waited and watched as the sun began to rise, the shadows falling, falling, burning so slowly, such agony, wisps of smoke rising from her parent’s heads, Mother cried, Father cursed and the children stared up in horror at the encroaching sun, screaming for their dear lives. Lucrese stood and watched and saw the Auditors take out long dark oblongs that they raised high – a tug, a blinding light, and sunlight flashed hotly off the mirrors. Lucrese ducked in time. Slowly she raised herself, careful to stay in the dark, the only place where she could see beyond the shadows into the light. And there, right there, lined up against the eastern wall of their homestead, were five heaps of ashes, smoking in the sun.

* * *

Cornwall, 2010

10 days to Winter Solstice
203rd year

Finally, some time to write and think. It’s done now, the Whelp is in the cellars, watered and fed, thought Mr Gellers down the road’s starting to give me weird looks. We might have to change our supplier.

Anyway, now, finally, I can actually sit down and just – I wish I could shout and scream and box Gav’s ears for his unbelievable stupidity. I told him it was an idiotic thing to do, but oh no, Mr Gavin C. Destrian himself had to show them the Sangín are real. I keep on telling him: the Aveugle are silly people. They only believe what they can touch and feel, what their little eyes can see. And even then they’ll start arguing. But no, Gav had to show them. He apparently was sick and tired of this talk as if our world doesn’t exist. I told him to be patient. A hundred years ago, that Potter woman would have been put behind bars for sorcery. Not to mention what would have happened during The Dark. Small steps, I said, you need to give them time. They’ll get to it, surely. Maybe in three generations to come, but it’s not like we can’t wait. Two hundred three and everyone still thinks I’m a teen. Mum’s stopped arguing, they think we’re sisters, and as for Gav. Well, I told him. I told him, don’t do it. The Sangín around here are not safe, they like to terrify people, Aveugle especially. But oh no. And now we have an Aveugle in the house, and she’s genuinely Bitten.

She’s very shocked. Spent the first week crying – when she wasn’t trying to rip our throats out . That Containing Spell Gran found in Romania back in 17-whatever really works. Probably even a full grown Sangín couldn’t break it, not that I’d ever try it out, unless I absolutely had to. I do feel sorry for her though, young Mel. Annabelle Lowry, but everyone call’s her Mel. And she didn’t even want to go, Gavin coaxed her to – probably why he feels like a stinking heap of dragon dung right now. I told him. The Sangín here are Not. Safe. But oh no. He knew better. They had to know. And now young Mel’s in our cellar so that she won’t rip out our throats by the merest irritation.

I think that’s the hardest part, acquiring unbreakable self control in so short a time. Never getting provoked. Holding yourself together to the very end. Until even the very last chain burst and suddenly you have a full grown werewolf on your hands. I told him. I really told him. Gav’s an Apprentice, he could never have kept the Containing Spell up so long. I told him. Even Mum told him, and Mum usually lets him get away with everything. Mum’s been awfully quiet actually. She hardly speaks to him, she just brews the potion and cuts the meat so that the poor thing won’t choke. She says nothing. A lot of nothing. A whole bookshelf and library full of nothing. I think it’s driving Gav mad. If Mum’d at least shout and scream, even curse him, I think he’d be relieved, but Mum doesn’t say anything.

It’s very hard for her though, young Mel. I can only imagine how it’s like, understanding that from now on, she’s one of the Sangín. It’s why I’ve been so busy. Mum’s been making me write letters to the Elders, and when I’m not writing, I’m making introductions all round. I’ve been up and down the Five Clans just to make sure nobody starts a war over this. Mum insisted I take Gav with me, I didn’t think it was wise, you never know how Nightwalkers might react to this, but they’ve been very civil, considering. Granted, Gav doesn’t say a word. He just stands there and lets them shout at him. At least they understand it’s done now, and the Elders are going to contact the Aveugle. Young Mel’s parents have already contacted their police. Gav and all his Aveugle friends lied very well, saying Mel got lost while they ran to the jeep. They’ve sent search parties into the woods, naturally they found nothing, Mum already went back and cleaned up the blood, you can’t have the parents terrified. Sensitive as Mel is now, she’ll feel her family’s fear and she’s already nervous enough. Nerves of steel is what a Sangín needs, at least that’s what Arrag says. He still comes to see me, brings me the paste once a week. The scars will remain, but they’ve healed. At least my clothes cover the most of it, though I can’t do low necklines any more. A pity, but I guess that is a small price for being alive at all.

 

7 Days to Winter Solstice
203rd year

Gran’s in France again, someone’s broken into another vault. Tynne Edvan came to ask her to join the Déblay. Why do they always do this? How can anyone be so insane? The Royal Line has died out, they cannot be resurrected, and thank all the Stars, Gods and Spirits for that. Who would want them back? They’d never tolerate the Balance and then it would be like the Old Days and Arrag could never come and give me the paste. Tuilen and Janic would not be allowed to live together, in fact, they’d probably execute Tuilen for blood treason. Not to mention everyone else. Lucius. Meredith. Gwendolynn. Cedric and the John brothers. Leonid and Katelyn. They’d basically have to go into hiding. A Sangín and an Enchanter, united? The Royals would burn their house down with all of them inside by the mere mention. Every Sangín would get the silver cup, every Nightwalker in the Five Clans would be sunlit, and we Enchanters would be on the run again, forever escaping the Auditors who saw nothing in us than slaves. I don’t know why anyone would want the Royal Line back, no one would ever be able to live in peace again. Who are these madmen?

Anyway, young Mel is doing a little better now. Arrag already came to call, he was with Braig this time so we could not talk. Mum did the formalities, and she went down with Braig to see young Mel. It was awkward, standing in the parlour alone with Arrag. It’s been twenty years now. He still will not look me in the eye. If I touch him, he flinches. He barely accepted the drink I offered. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him that I know he was provoked. I know it. Everyone knows it. And back then I would have said the vows but he would not. He does not trust himself anymore. Even if I knew to brew the potion, maybe one night he might forget to drink it, and then what? Until that night he was convinced it would work, but after… may the Gods curse me, but if ever I see Alda and Ivan again, I will load my soulmaker with all the silver bullets I can get and send them back to the dark pits they belong to. Arrag was the best of them all and they just – broke him. Just like that. The Royal Line would have been so proud of them.

Anyway. Mum said Braig was satisfied. He will send Leonid to come after Winter Solstice to help. The Lupena have already been contacted, they will take Mel into the Fold once she is used to the bloodlust and knows how to control it. None of us want another Gerem – Gods, what a disaster. Ten Aveugle dead, and the 11th so mauled they had to be merciful and let him pass as well. At least the Elders could convince the Aveugle officials that he was killed in self defence. The first time in decades that all Sangín-Clans joined together and went on a Hunt. They must have known the fault was entirely theirs. To let a Bitten Aveugle join the Fold without any safety valves… madness.

It’ll be another full moon tomorrow by the way, Gav’s already nervous. Last time young Mel mauled two cats and a dog. Had to bury them quick and explain the neighbours there’s been a very careless car-driver about. Gav is not happy. He said, ‘She was the nice one.’ Well, all I can say is that we Enchanters can’t have enough nice Sangín around.

© 2014 threegoodwords

never thus

candles

…and gone is the time
when I was nothing more than mine
to have and hold
for there is no price
in what is nigh
high up on clouds
fluffed in quartets, symphonies
numbered nine

*

On crested hills
laughter spills
slowly into the warmth
that holds and keeps
out
a darkness that is not night.

It seeps, warmly
past hardened walls
turns all ice into joy,
waiting, hoping
blushing young, untouched
so coy
resting in that hardened shell
all spikes and swords
all banners flying
stepping aside to let this,
a miracle,
come and sit by the fire
kindled brightly, lively
inside.

*

And in the soft sun
caught with silk and sight
there lies waiting
a smile
open, wide
in shining gladness like newborn light
where what was lost
was never thus
but hidden, hiding
until a look, a light
enabled that tender newborn:
a joyful, content life.

© 2014 threegoodwords

aye me

courtesy of Stratford-upon-Avon’s Celebrated son

candles 5

sad hours seem long
or so the young lover sighs
in his rashness and melancholy
long written with
the heavy lightness of serious vanity
where misshapen chaos
builds well-seeming forms.

*

two houses, divided
ready to fall
bearing a son, a daughter
innocent of it all
until stars are crossed
and the young pilgrims meet
palm to palm
in the holy communion
of such innocent bliss

yet in the dark
eyes watch and watch
that know not peace
but hate the word as they hate hell
so furious enraged
against their soul’s hate
causing suns ancient to turn all fortune
and make one of many
who talk of dreams resting in an idle brain
to curse and cry in despair
a scratch, just a scratch!
so soon, too soon
triggering that rage
that would seal the fate of fortune’s fool

yet, in joyful sadness, a flight is made
with pleas to fortune, fickle fortune
to return all whole and well
but the mark was made
when sin from young lips were sweetly urged
and all cleverness cannot stop
that twist of fate
an apothecary’s drugs so quick
netting those lips by whose kiss
all hope subsides
and glinted steel ends love’s young life
after which what law there is declares:
All are punishéd.

*

What for then oh brawling love,
what for then if this loving hate
is anything of nothing
from which we first create
that heavy lightness, that serious vanity
wherein misshapen chaos 
creates well-seaming forms?
Aye me, sad hours seem long.

© 2014 threegoodwords

winter in paris

 paris winter 9 paris winter 1

Snow is falling while Madeleine walks down a cobble-stoned street. Strangers pass her by, rushing home. Madeleine takes her time. She has a hat on, newly bought. She really likes it. It fits her coat, red with black buttons, covering her warmly from her neck to her knees. Her boots are dusted with powdery white, the snow is cascading down past the windows and walls, filling the curb, the sills, the street. tour eiffelMadeleine catches a glimpse of herself in a shop window. The red of her coat is shockingly bright, like Red Riding Hood walking through the forest. All she needs is a basket with pastries, but her grandmére lives in Lyon.

*

Sophie likes to look out of windows when it snows, just like now, her chin in her hand, and a book lying open next to her. She’s waiting for the water to boil for a cup of tea. The snow is falling gently from a heavy sky, dark and filled with winter storms. Down below a young woman walks by in a bright red coat. Sophie wonders where she got it from. The kettle clicks, the water’s done. Sophie moves away from the window, happy that winter has finally come.

*

Luc is tall and dark, with a lightning smile. He likes wearing dark sweaters over light shirts. He has to bend down to open doors, his legs are long like a runner’s. Madeleine likes to throw herself into his arms. He chuckles then. They meet at a café they both like, Madeleine orders a citrón, Luc a coffee. He asks her how her day was, she smiles and asks if he likes her hat. Luc always thought women were crazy about shoes, but Madeleine is always buying hats. He asks again, ‘How was your day?’ and Madeleine sighs without answering. Luc frowns, ‘That bad?’ Madeleine shrugs and looks out the window, the snow is falling thickly now, covering cars and lamps. Luc reaches out and holds Madeleine’s hand, she turns and tries to smile. He can see the frustration in her eyes that she won’t allow to spread. He wishes he could do something, help somehow, but Madeleine insists on finishing the internship.

paris winter 4 She will not be cowed. So he says, ‘It’s just three more weeks.’ Madeleine nods, sadly. Luc can see she is trying not to cry.

‘Madeleine, you really don’t have to do this. There are other places -‘
‘No. I won’t let them win. And Margarite told me twice I do my job well.’
‘And you do do it well.’
‘Yes. I know. I know I get things done. They know that and can’t stand it -‘

Madeleine takes a deep breath and exhales. The waiter comes with the citrón and the coffee. They drink in silence, Luc watching Madeleine. He would like to tell her about his promotion, the confirmation came in today. He would like to tell her about the holiday they could take next year. He would like to say something to make her smile again, but Madeleine is watching the snow again and looks at peace. Luc doesn’t want to disturb that just yet.

*

It’s past seven, dark as night, and Sophie is waiting. Waiting for Etienne, Etienne who is about to come in a taxi, all wrapped in a coat. He already sent her text, the flight was ok, de Gaulle was hell, he couldn’t wait to see her again. Sophie spent the last hour making dinner. The table is set, the candals lit, the wine decanted, the good one from the Périgord. It’s still snowing outside, so Sophie fought with the wood in the fireplace until it accepted the fire. Finally, the taxi arrives, stopping busily in the street. Sophie rushes to the window and sees Etienne step out. The driver pops the boot, and Etienne takes out a suitcase and his shoulder bag heavy with his notebook and papers. He taps the roof of the cab twice, nods to the driver and the cab is gone. Sophie watches Etienne walk towards the house, patting down his front. She knows he’s searching for his keys. She leans closer to the window, and waves. Etienne looks up, startled. Sophie smiles and waves again. Etienne smiles back, relieved. He’s been gone for two weeks.

*

Luc wraps an arm around Madeleine’s shoulders when they leave the house. He has a long coat on and looks like the businessman he is, but Madeleine likes to think of him as a poet. When he’s in the shower, he likes to sing in a low baritone, songs she usually only hears on the radio. When they cross streets, Luc stretches out a hand as if he’s about to lose Madeleine in a crowd. Madeleine is scared of cars. She was hit by one once when she was a child, three weeks with deep bruises. Luckily no more. She sometimes hears the screeching tires. She always hesitates at the curb. Luc then steps out into the street, turns around and stretches out a hand. paris winter 5Madeleine only runs to him because she is afraid he will stand too long and be hit, drivers are crazy in this city. She would rather be hit with him than be left in this cold world, alone.

*

Sophie closes her eyes when Etienne kisses her hello. They’re standing in the narrow hallway, Etienne still in his snow-covered coat, suitcase and shoulder bag on the floor. Sophie doesn’t feel the chill from the open door. She feels warm, so warm, winter could be a myth told by someone unknown. They part, Etienne closes the door, smells the air and smiles, ‘Is that your gratin?’ Sophie nods, yes, she thought he might want something warm. She still has to make the medallions. Etienne kisses her again and says he’ll take a shower first. While he’s in the bathroom, Sophie puts the pan on the stove, happy to hear the shower run. Her heart glows at the memory of Etienne’s relief to be home. It makes her smile, their love is yet so young. She wishes to keep it this young, innocent in its joy, just happy to be. She wishes it would not grow to an obstinate little thing, a disillusioned adult after years as a pouty teen. She does not want their love to grow old. She wants it to stay like this, to always know the simple joy of being together again after being separated for so many days, they became weeks.

*

Luc is watching Madeleine drink tea. She doesn’t like coffee. She doesn’t like colourless nails either. They always have to be painted. Maybe it has to do with her work, she always wakes up an hour early and prepares herself meticulously before she leaves. He doesn’t like the transformation. The Madeleine who leaves the house in the morning is not the Madeleine he knows. The one in the morning is curt and concentrated, saying little to nothing at all. The Madeleine he knows laughs a lot. She doesn’t mind being a little disorganised and she takes her time. Morning Madeleine has everything planned out, and leaves the house at seven thirty sharp. Sometimes Luc tries to slow her down with breakfast, tea, brioche, an omelette, but Morning Madeleine has no time for that and rushes out at 7:30, terrified she might be a nanosecond late. Luc can’t wait until she’s finished with that internship. Then he’ll take her somewhere nice, like Florence. They’ve never been to Florence. He already booked the tickets and a nice hotel. paris winter 7He wants them to have the perfect weekend, far away from everything, especially the snow. Luc knows winter is inevitable in this city, but he could really live without the cold.

*

Sophie turns on her front and looks out the window. Etienne is quiet next to her, pleasantly tired. His hand on her back is warm, and she enjoys how he strokes her skin. After a while he asks what’s wrong and Sophie shakes her head smiling,

‘Nothing.’
‘What are you looking at?’
‘The snow.’

He glances over his shoulder and sighs,

‘It’s still hasn’t stopped?’
‘Why would you want it to stop?’
‘It clogged up all the runways. We couldn’t land for half an hour.’

Sophie looks at the snowflakes trickling down from the sky. They look so harmless, tiny puffs of white. Tiny ballerinas running to the stage, gathering on the sill. She sees a cool blue light bloom next to her and turns. Etienne is scrolling through something on his phone.

‘Your boss?’
‘No. It won’t stop till Tuesday.’
‘What won’t stop?’
‘The snow. The streets are going to be a mess.’
‘You checked?’

‘Yeah,’ Etienne says as if that was perfectly normal, now, in this moment, with the tiny ballerinas fluttering to their stage, both of them lying next to each other under the sheets after such a wonderful time naked together. Sometimes Etienne is far too pragmatic for Sophie’s taste. But then he puts away his phone, turns to her, kisses her shoulder and says,

‘You’ll have to tell me what you want for Christmas.’
‘Why?’
‘I don’t want to make a mess of it again,’ and Sophie can’t help it, she laughs a little.

It was this silly game of theirs, of who could give the other the more ingenious present, Christmas, birthdays, even Easter. It didn’t have to be expensive, just something that was truly theirs, and for that Sophie was simply grateful.

*

It’s Saturday evening and Luc and Madeleine are invited at friends for dinner. They take their time to prepare themselves, talking about the friends they are going to meet, Sophie and Etienne, and everyone else who are part of their circle. It will be a long evening, but that is good. Sophie, who trained to be a chef before managing that excellent little brasserie, Sophie will have made something wonderful, and Etienne will have many stories to tell again. The company he works for sends him everywhere to inspect the respective teams, and something strange always happens once he’s there. paris winter 11Madeleine often wonders how it is to work with people who know they have to make you like them. She often wishes Etienne would come and inspect everyone at her internship, but this is not the time to think of that. They’re dressed and ready to go, and walk down the stairs. Outside, Luc opens his umbrella, it is large enough for two. Snow falls on the black, a soft susurrus filling the dark street. Madeleine smiles when she sees the snow, joins Luc under the umbrella. They talk quietly to each other, anticipating a pleasant evening as they walk quickly through the snow, holding hands happily in the cold.

© 2014 threegoodwords

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