If you could bring back one dinosaur, which one would it be?
If there’s one thing Jurassic Park taught us, then it’s to leave dinosaurs exactly where they are.
“Two species separated by 65 million years.”
Let’s keep it that way.
#yikes
*John Malkovich scowl*
On what subject(s) are you an authority?
Why are you here? Ah-ah-ah. Don’t move. Don’t move. You move, I get nervous because I don’t know what you’ll do, and you know what will happen then? Things will get messy. You don’t want that. So, again. Why are you here? No, Matthew, this is not about me. It’s about you. Why are you here? Just answer the question, Matthew. Na-ah-ah. What did I say about moving. There you go, moving again. Why aren’t you answering the question? The question, Matthew. See, now you’re making me nervous. And I told you, Matthew, don’t make me nervous. Now, things are going to get messy. All because you couldn’t answer a simple question, Matthew. *sigh* You disappoint me. *click*
© 2025 threegoodwords
#answers
*comms blink*
Describe your dream chocolate bar.
Boss: Go on.
Agent: They’re definitely watching, sir.
Boss: Quite so. Get Hayfield, Simons, and Bashar on this. We’ll need the whole crew.
Agent: Yes, sir. Codename?
Boss: Pondicherry.
Agent: Bit on the nose, sir
Boss: That is the point.
#sweet
*Billy Crystal squint*
Have you ever been camping?
You just had to say it, didn’t you. You just had to say it. Could you keep it inside? No, of course not. Could you spare my feelings? Who are we kidding here. You just had to ask, didn’t you, knowing how much I hate the outdoors. Yes. Hate. Loathe. Despise. Yes, I said it. I’m being negative? Hate, hate, hate. There, I said it again. Three times even. Hate. There again. Said it again. Couldn’t stop myself. You should hate things more, you know, you’re way too positive. You’re the kind of person who is chipper. Enthusiastic, that’s what you are. I’m the kind of person who hates things. And what’s so great about it anyway, the great outdoors? It’s full of ants. Crawling up your legs, right into your food. Ten of them right inside my sandwich, like they bought the pastrami themselves. Ants and bears, that’s what you get out there. And those guys who wear flannel. You don’t get flannel in New York unless someone’s having a nervous breakdown. You know why I love New York? Because New York has no great outdoors. There’s just insanity and hot dogs.
© 2025 threegoodwords
*Meryl Streep side eye*
What is one word that describes you?
I see you are asking questions again. Yes, yes, yes, you are. I have to say, it is a little suspicious. Oh yes. Look at you. Sitting there acting all innocent who are you working for? No, really. Tell me. Yes, I know. I don’t care. Now, tell me who sent you? Tell me. Go on. Spill those terrible beans.
#dailysnark
three good words 