Iris Moore, Part III

The MCA pamphlets said that five copies would be made of Iris’ application form and sent to those men whose likes and tastes most matched her own. If these showed no success, the MCA would progress with those who had slight deviations and so on until an eligible match was found. One was to expect at least three weeks’ time for an answer from the MCA, and guaranteed both a personal letter and a copy of the bachelor’s own application form. Since not all of the men were able to reach a photographer’s in time, some could not provide a photograph immediately, but would do so upon request by the lady in question. snail mail shapedotcomFrom then on, an exchange via letter was expected, by which both applicants would acquaint themselves with each other and find if they were truly well-matched or not. Considering the MCA’s statistics, of ten men and women who applied, seven found a match, and those three who did not were soon married as well. Thus, the MCA was considered by Sanders, Sanders & Jones, as well as those who had found their life’s happiness by the agency’s aide, a thorough success. This all sounded very promising, and Iris, who did not know what to expect, resolved to waiting.

*

Iris received a total of three letters. It seemed that Sanders, Sanders & Jones really were very successful and there was a current shortage in eligible bachelors. Iris did not know if this was simply a polite way of saying only three men had thought her application and photograph appealing or whether the shortage was truly the case. Even so, there were three letters and Iris read each carefully. There was a Trevor Bowden, who sounded a little too young and eager for her liking, despite his twenty-eight years. He lived in Texas, had recently acquired a claim and had invested too much time in business to find a wife. Iris’ application and photograph had intrigued him, and he would be happy to lead her to his ranch as Mrs. Trevor Bowden. The writing was a little clumsy and the wording sometimes rather wanting in elegance, but the entirety of the letter was still pleasant and Iris was smiling when she reached ‘My very deepest regards, T. Bow.’

The second letter was from a certain Kenneth Williams (37), who sounded very respectable after his introductory ‘Dear Miss Moore’. The letter was very well-written. However, considering his use of words such as ‘auxiliary’ and ‘perspicacious’, Iris wasn’t sure whether Mr. Williams was either trying too hard to impress her or so particular as to have to show his education in a simple introductory letter. Mr. Williams spoke of his large estate in Colorado, the size of his stables, the number of his horses, and the fact that she would be one of the leading ladies of Lesterburgh’s society, (which counted at least a thousand well-respected, Christian souls), if she conceded to be his wife. He had very adequate means to guarantee her a comfortable life, and she would not be sorry to have married him. She looked a sturdy, simple woman (Iris wondered in what ways ‘simple’) who could lead a household frugally, something he found was exactly what was wanting in modern wives, who generally preferred to spend rather than save. ink_pen___paperHe would be very happy to receive her swift reply and was gladly awaiting the day he would introduce her to Lesterburgh as Mrs. Kenneth Williams. ‘With the most cordial wishes for your health and goodwill, Kenneth H. Williams.’

Iris didn’t know what to think of this letter. She had a feeling Mr. Williams rather expected she would marry him. Iris never did do well with those who expected her to do their bidding, implied or no, without so much as asking if she was agreeable to it. Maybe it was the rebellious Eduards’ streak in her, but after reading Kenneth H. Williams’ letter, she did not think she would ever be part of Lesterburgh’s society. And he, just like Trevor Bowden, had not provided her with so much as a daguerreotype, which Iris thought a little suspicious of someone who used so many cultured words. She had read enough in St. James to know that sometimes erudition only hid a far more simpler truth, which was usually pride or vanity or both. In the end, Iris could not find it in herself to like Kenneth H. Williams, even though all she knew of him was a short introductory letter.

Finally, there was the last of the three, and it was from a certain C. O’Brian whose full name by the application form was not Christopher but the more unusual Christian. He wrote ‘Miss Moore,’ without the usual ‘Dear’ and stated immediately that his sole reason for applying to Sanders, Sanders & Jones was his need for a sensible housekeeper. As he could not expect that any respectable woman would travel so far west as Washington Territory without an assurance of safety and adequate means of living, he was very willing to give his hand in return. He had found her application very convincing, and her photograph only enhanced this first estimation. However, he did not want her, Miss Moore, to be deceived into romantic ventures as many might, considering the form and nature of their initial acquaintance. He was a man of thirty-three years with his own business and own home, and considering his situation in life as a single man in a remote land, had found it best to lay his pen 3future into the hands of Messrs. Sanders & Jones. He would greatly appreciate her answer, since by her application form he had surmised that they would not be altogether mismatched, though, naturally, it was entirely to her own choosing. Without much ado, his ‘Yours sincerely, C. O’Brian’ followed and that was the end of the letter. He had, however, also enclosed a photograph, which was a pleasant surprise.

Iris held it before her and saw a man staring obstinately into the camera. He had regular, sharp-lined features, thick brows over clear eyes, a straight nose and a relaxed, well-shaped mouth. There was nothing soft about his chin as she had sometimes seen in the sons and nephews Mrs. Rose’s friends insisted she meet. In the photograph, Christian O’Brian was clean-shaven, looked healthily built, and was possibly wearing his best suit with a matching vest and tie, from the monotony of the photograph it was all a crisp black and white. He held his hat as if he had just removed it, though it did not cover the arc of his watch’s chain nor his straight, almost defiant stance. His dark hair, black on the photograph, was rather long for a gentleman, though it was not wholly unbecoming, and living in the wilds as he did such an unusual length was probably to be expected. Iris, upon seeing the photograph, thought that she could like the real twin to the image. Christian O’Brian looked neither dangerous nor violent, maybe a little grim, but you never knew on photographs. She just hoped he had good teeth, but when looking through his application form, he had crossed ‘sturdy’ in the box of Health, and left the comments section empty, where Trevor Bowden, for example, had explicated that one tooth had been knocked out during a dispute over some land.

Iris agonized for many hours over her answering letter to Mr. O’Brian. She finally wrote her thanks for his letter and that she was both grateful and, yes, a little surprised by his honesty, since it was not usual for a suitor to claim from the first a total lack of romantic feelings. She appreciated his frankness, however, since it showed to her that he was a man who was not prone to subtleties which were often the beginnings of deception. Even so, in keeping with his forthrightness, she was curious unto what conditions she would be living with him (though Iris found that sounded a little harsh, but it was already written and she could not waste too much paper) and if there was anything more he would have liked to know about her character or person. She thanked him again for his honest letter. Iris did not know what more to write, and though it looked like a short, mean little letter, she did her best to soften her words by closing it with ‘My sincerest regards, Iris Moore’.

© 2016 threegoodwords

to a young(er) friend

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ok, let’s talk about it
that thing that disturbs so many

oh god, not again 
#sigh #rollseyes
though somewhere I read that
porn has become the new sex-ed

um, what?

i don’t even know what to think of that
where to start where to end
and, oh, the visuals
endless, endless
sunk deep into the web

which makes things so difficult
when the deed is actually to be done
because intercourse
depends on one thing a screen can’t provide
(not that people don’t try…)

bodies.
real bodies. alive.
living, breathing
actual people
humans
with skin and hands and mouths
personal scents and personal sounds.

touch. feeling.
such small words
doors to so many worlds.

#obvious I know
but think about it

a person’s presence
cannot be fast-forwarded
freeze-framed
clicked away
edited
photoshopped
or otherwise modified

not to mention their preferences
their pasts and presents
their hopes for the future
in unknown beds

that one moment in their lives
that can outlast all others for
hours, days
years on end
it all depends

on what actually happened.

there are infinite variations
like flowers and bees
and all the other species on the planet.
so let’s talk about it
that thing that disturbs so many

y’know
what needed to happen
for you to be here in the first place :D

oh my god TMI!!!

 

© 2016 threegoodwords

07/04

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July Fourth and they were all in New Jersey at a grand cook-out in Inez’ parent’s back yard. Inez had invited everyone, and almost all had come: Chloë and someone new by the name of Will (Nicolas was hi-sto-ry, oh, you wouldn’t believe), Clarissa with her Greg, who had recently been promoted to ‘the love of her life’ (though she still wasn’t sure if he wasn’t seeing someone else ‘on the sly’), Olivieri with Rachel (calm and content as always) and Matisen alone. He’d decided Inez had to have some hot cousin he could chat up and talk into God-knew-what, Lana didn’t even want to know.

By the look of it he was succeeding very well with a certain Isabella, it was depressing really. Never mind all that, there was her, Lana with Timothy, Timothy who had his arm around her whenever he could. There were tables and chairs set up in small groups, children racing around, the Santa Cruz talking and laughing animatedly, merengue cascading out of the enormous stereo on the veranda, one whole side of the garden an enormous smorgasbord of delicious food. The sky was wonderfully blue, the parade worth seeing, and everyone happy to have a day off to celebrate.

Lana was already on her third margarita, her fingers still sticky from the fantastic barbecue, not that she was complaining, Inez’ family really knew their food. She was anyway laughing at Inez, who couldn’t stop grumbling about another suitor her family had set her up with, this time a certain Ramón. He seemed quite nice, not bad-looking either, but Inez ‘so didn’t care’, though she remained polite. ice cream 5 crème graclée saveursvegetales dot comThey all meandered from table to table, listened in to wild stories about the Santa Cruz’ life in New Jersey, laughing with everyone, and generally had a really good time. Every now and then Timothy would pull Lana close and kiss her lips, always gently with a hint of more, making Inez’ mother wink at Lana and then give her daughter a telling look that made Inez sigh and roll her eyes.

July Fourth and it turned out to be one of the few days in a long while where Lana was just happy to be where she was, with her friends and Timothy, her surrogate family. July Fourth and for a few hours Lana was just happy to be alive.

© 2015 threegoodwords

winter in paris

 paris winter 9 paris winter 1

Snow is falling while Madeleine walks down a cobble-stoned street. Strangers pass her by, rushing home. Madeleine takes her time. She has a hat on, newly bought. She really likes it. It fits her coat, red with black buttons, covering her warmly from her neck to her knees. Her boots are dusted with powdery white, the snow is cascading down past the windows and walls, filling the curb, the sills, the street. tour eiffelMadeleine catches a glimpse of herself in a shop window. The red of her coat is shockingly bright, like Red Riding Hood walking through the forest. All she needs is a basket with pastries, but her grandmére lives in Lyon.

*

Sophie likes to look out of windows when it snows, just like now, her chin in her hand, and a book lying open next to her. She’s waiting for the water to boil for a cup of tea. The snow is falling gently from a heavy sky, dark and filled with winter storms. Down below a young woman walks by in a bright red coat. Sophie wonders where she got it from. The kettle clicks, the water’s done. Sophie moves away from the window, happy that winter has finally come.

*

Luc is tall and dark, with a lightning smile. He likes wearing dark sweaters over light shirts. He has to bend down to open doors, his legs are long like a runner’s. Madeleine likes to throw herself into his arms. He chuckles then. They meet at a café they both like, Madeleine orders a citrón, Luc a coffee. He asks her how her day was, she smiles and asks if he likes her hat. Luc always thought women were crazy about shoes, but Madeleine is always buying hats. He asks again, ‘How was your day?’ and Madeleine sighs without answering. Luc frowns, ‘That bad?’ Madeleine shrugs and looks out the window, the snow is falling thickly now, covering cars and lamps. Luc reaches out and holds Madeleine’s hand, she turns and tries to smile. He can see the frustration in her eyes that she won’t allow to spread. He wishes he could do something, help somehow, but Madeleine insists on finishing the internship.

paris winter 4 She will not be cowed. So he says, ‘It’s just three more weeks.’ Madeleine nods, sadly. Luc can see she is trying not to cry.

‘Madeleine, you really don’t have to do this. There are other places -‘
‘No. I won’t let them win. And Margarite told me twice I do my job well.’
‘And you do do it well.’
‘Yes. I know. I know I get things done. They know that and can’t stand it -‘

Madeleine takes a deep breath and exhales. The waiter comes with the citrón and the coffee. They drink in silence, Luc watching Madeleine. He would like to tell her about his promotion, the confirmation came in today. He would like to tell her about the holiday they could take next year. He would like to say something to make her smile again, but Madeleine is watching the snow again and looks at peace. Luc doesn’t want to disturb that just yet.

*

It’s past seven, dark as night, and Sophie is waiting. Waiting for Etienne, Etienne who is about to come in a taxi, all wrapped in a coat. He already sent her text, the flight was ok, de Gaulle was hell, he couldn’t wait to see her again. Sophie spent the last hour making dinner. The table is set, the candals lit, the wine decanted, the good one from the Périgord. It’s still snowing outside, so Sophie fought with the wood in the fireplace until it accepted the fire. Finally, the taxi arrives, stopping busily in the street. Sophie rushes to the window and sees Etienne step out. The driver pops the boot, and Etienne takes out a suitcase and his shoulder bag heavy with his notebook and papers. He taps the roof of the cab twice, nods to the driver and the cab is gone. Sophie watches Etienne walk towards the house, patting down his front. She knows he’s searching for his keys. She leans closer to the window, and waves. Etienne looks up, startled. Sophie smiles and waves again. Etienne smiles back, relieved. He’s been gone for two weeks.

*

Luc wraps an arm around Madeleine’s shoulders when they leave the house. He has a long coat on and looks like the businessman he is, but Madeleine likes to think of him as a poet. When he’s in the shower, he likes to sing in a low baritone, songs she usually only hears on the radio. When they cross streets, Luc stretches out a hand as if he’s about to lose Madeleine in a crowd. Madeleine is scared of cars. She was hit by one once when she was a child, three weeks with deep bruises. Luckily no more. She sometimes hears the screeching tires. She always hesitates at the curb. Luc then steps out into the street, turns around and stretches out a hand. paris winter 5Madeleine only runs to him because she is afraid he will stand too long and be hit, drivers are crazy in this city. She would rather be hit with him than be left in this cold world, alone.

*

Sophie closes her eyes when Etienne kisses her hello. They’re standing in the narrow hallway, Etienne still in his snow-covered coat, suitcase and shoulder bag on the floor. Sophie doesn’t feel the chill from the open door. She feels warm, so warm, winter could be a myth told by someone unknown. They part, Etienne closes the door, smells the air and smiles, ‘Is that your gratin?’ Sophie nods, yes, she thought he might want something warm. She still has to make the medallions. Etienne kisses her again and says he’ll take a shower first. While he’s in the bathroom, Sophie puts the pan on the stove, happy to hear the shower run. Her heart glows at the memory of Etienne’s relief to be home. It makes her smile, their love is yet so young. She wishes to keep it this young, innocent in its joy, just happy to be. She wishes it would not grow to an obstinate little thing, a disillusioned adult after years as a pouty teen. She does not want their love to grow old. She wants it to stay like this, to always know the simple joy of being together again after being separated for so many days, they became weeks.

*

Luc is watching Madeleine drink tea. She doesn’t like coffee. She doesn’t like colourless nails either. They always have to be painted. Maybe it has to do with her work, she always wakes up an hour early and prepares herself meticulously before she leaves. He doesn’t like the transformation. The Madeleine who leaves the house in the morning is not the Madeleine he knows. The one in the morning is curt and concentrated, saying little to nothing at all. The Madeleine he knows laughs a lot. She doesn’t mind being a little disorganised and she takes her time. Morning Madeleine has everything planned out, and leaves the house at seven thirty sharp. Sometimes Luc tries to slow her down with breakfast, tea, brioche, an omelette, but Morning Madeleine has no time for that and rushes out at 7:30, terrified she might be a nanosecond late. Luc can’t wait until she’s finished with that internship. Then he’ll take her somewhere nice, like Florence. They’ve never been to Florence. He already booked the tickets and a nice hotel. paris winter 7He wants them to have the perfect weekend, far away from everything, especially the snow. Luc knows winter is inevitable in this city, but he could really live without the cold.

*

Sophie turns on her front and looks out the window. Etienne is quiet next to her, pleasantly tired. His hand on her back is warm, and she enjoys how he strokes her skin. After a while he asks what’s wrong and Sophie shakes her head smiling,

‘Nothing.’
‘What are you looking at?’
‘The snow.’

He glances over his shoulder and sighs,

‘It’s still hasn’t stopped?’
‘Why would you want it to stop?’
‘It clogged up all the runways. We couldn’t land for half an hour.’

Sophie looks at the snowflakes trickling down from the sky. They look so harmless, tiny puffs of white. Tiny ballerinas running to the stage, gathering on the sill. She sees a cool blue light bloom next to her and turns. Etienne is scrolling through something on his phone.

‘Your boss?’
‘No. It won’t stop till Tuesday.’
‘What won’t stop?’
‘The snow. The streets are going to be a mess.’
‘You checked?’

‘Yeah,’ Etienne says as if that was perfectly normal, now, in this moment, with the tiny ballerinas fluttering to their stage, both of them lying next to each other under the sheets after such a wonderful time naked together. Sometimes Etienne is far too pragmatic for Sophie’s taste. But then he puts away his phone, turns to her, kisses her shoulder and says,

‘You’ll have to tell me what you want for Christmas.’
‘Why?’
‘I don’t want to make a mess of it again,’ and Sophie can’t help it, she laughs a little.

It was this silly game of theirs, of who could give the other the more ingenious present, Christmas, birthdays, even Easter. It didn’t have to be expensive, just something that was truly theirs, and for that Sophie was simply grateful.

*

It’s Saturday evening and Luc and Madeleine are invited at friends for dinner. They take their time to prepare themselves, talking about the friends they are going to meet, Sophie and Etienne, and everyone else who are part of their circle. It will be a long evening, but that is good. Sophie, who trained to be a chef before managing that excellent little brasserie, Sophie will have made something wonderful, and Etienne will have many stories to tell again. The company he works for sends him everywhere to inspect the respective teams, and something strange always happens once he’s there. paris winter 11Madeleine often wonders how it is to work with people who know they have to make you like them. She often wishes Etienne would come and inspect everyone at her internship, but this is not the time to think of that. They’re dressed and ready to go, and walk down the stairs. Outside, Luc opens his umbrella, it is large enough for two. Snow falls on the black, a soft susurrus filling the dark street. Madeleine smiles when she sees the snow, joins Luc under the umbrella. They talk quietly to each other, anticipating a pleasant evening as they walk quickly through the snow, holding hands happily in the cold.

© 2014 threegoodwords

in love and war

compass stencil 1

I will not
I refuse
to sell my integrity
for mere minutes
of another’s pleasure

I will not
I refuse
to compromise that which is holy
that which is mine
yes, truly
so very Me,
Moi-même

I will not
I refuse
for I have rallied my troops
and put on my armour
all my colours rolled from the ramparts
my sword honed, my shield ready
lances raised high
all my banners flying.

For my soul is my life
and my life is my soul,
it is mine to know and honour
and hold in that respect
I know I own.

It is what I am and what I was,
it is all that I may be:
my intimate circle
my private round table,
my personal holy grail,

Me.

© 2014 threegoodwords

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