Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?
Again, too many to count, but let’s go with Charlie and The Misanthrope’s Chocolate Factory.
From Prince Pondicherry to 4 Grandparents in 1 bed, Little Me had a tremendous amount of questions while reading. Also, those chocolates, candies, and sweets sounded amazing. Finally, no way the Oompa Loompas never figured out another diet on their own (always bothered me).
Then there were The Chocolate Trials: At first it was enormously satisfying to watch spoilt brats and bullies have the day they deserved. The Oompa Loompas DGAF and Willy Wonka was a revelation: An adult who stood firm in the face of irate parents? Amazing.
After multiple re-reads, though, the terrible children’s “just deserts” stopped being so perfectly just, given how their parents were horrible already and really weren’t being, y’know, parents. Especially in comparison to Charlie’s family, who clearly cared for Little Bucket.
When is the last time you took a risk? How did it work out?
Dear Mr. Wile E. Coyote,
Thank you for your letter.
ACME is committed to improving the ACME Customer Product Experience (CPE) to fully satisfy ACME customer needs.
In light of your recent inquiries, we cordially invite you as one of our most valued customers to share your experiences with a select number of ACME products you have so far purchased. We hope that your valued input as a veteran ACME customer will help improve the ACME CPE as a whole.
Please send us your questions and concerns regarding the following ACME products:
Giant Bow & Arrow
Infinity Ladder
Giant Red Rocket
Enormous Bullseye
Massive Slingshot
Trampoline (normal)
Portable Tunnel
We thank you for your time and commitment, and look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours sincerely, John Doe ACME Customer Product Experience & Hazard Division