j.d. – Page 10 – three good words

May 23, 2025May 23, 2025

opens comms, again

What personal belongings do you hold most dear?

Boss: This better be important.

Agent: Boss.

Boss: Not again.

Agent: They’re trying to break into the vault, sir.

Boss: Didn’t we shut them down three days ago?

Agent: They rebuilt, sir.

Boss: Bloody hell. Well, there’s nothing to it. You know what to do.

Agent: Alert sent, sir.

Boss: Anything else?

Agent: We should have staff on site, sir. This looks like a constant.

Boss: You know upstairs and extending budgets.

Agent: Just a thought, sir.

Boss: Keep it to yourself. You’re doing good work here and I don’t want you bumped off to Central. You know what they do in Central.

Agent: Understood, sir.

Boss: Now get back to what you were really doing. Over and out.

#friday

May 22, 2025May 22, 2025

That is a terrible question. Phenomenal. Frankly, I’m horrified. The police should arrest you. Constable? Arrest this man. Yes, arrest him. Now. For asking silly questions. No wait, that would be public nuisance, wouldn’t it. Yes, yes, take him away. Clap him in chains. Throw him into the Tower of London. It’s haunted, isn’t it? The Tower. In London. Yes. Good Lord, don’t you know your own history? You should be ashamed of yourself. Look at you, sitting there with your microphone, clueless of your own forebears. Don’t tell me. Your last name is Hartford, isn’t it? See. You must be at least a little bit English. Shameful. How can you not know? You should read a book, you know. Reading is good for you. Oh, you do? What kind? Well then. Honestly, how did you survive Shakespeare if you don’t know about the Tower of London? Have you even seen a play? Good God. Oh? That doesn’t count. Everyone has seen Romeo and Juliet. Every pimply teenager with groinal urges has seen Romeo and Juliet. I’m not exaggerating. Sex, death, and religion, what more could you want? Best of them have all three. Come now, don’t be so prudish. You Americans, always up in arms about everything. Isn’t that exhausting? I’d be exhausted. Every five minutes some new outrage. Wretched. I’d be very upset if I were you. Is this coffee? Horrific stuff. Never drink it. Ah, tea. Thank God, much better.

May 21, 2025May 21, 2025